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The malaise of melting memories/ Goodbye sweet Cannes 2015 [May. 26th, 2015|02:21 pm]
beyond control
Goodbye is like a little death
If only there was a way to carry a little fragment of everything
that ever touched you
And for each fragment to be big enough to bathe in
when you thirst for the splendid past.

Then goodbye wouldn't feel like violence
against love as delicate as a spider's thread
that binds hopelessly to dying things.

I wish there was a forever place
to store all sources of wonder
of which you are one.
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record keeping [Nov. 19th, 2014|07:19 pm]
beyond control
good intentions

all the quotes, you write down in a book and attribute it at the time
the photos, you upload into albums
the video,s you upload to a cloud and if someone hacks it then i don't even care
the ideas go in the book or here, like

'what if individual memories were wiped and all we had was a shared public social media conscious'


kil (keep it light)

i think happiness/ pride at being loved is melting my brain for better and for worse.

destination: *insert image of person turning into goo*
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(no subject) [Sep. 17th, 2014|10:13 pm]
beyond control
I am reviewing two films. One is a paper-thin cliche-driven not remotely funny battle-of-the-sexes comedy set in Las Vegas. One uses raw footage of dead, broken Jewish bodies in concentration camps to prove that, yes, people actually did this to each other.

Cinema is a broad church. 
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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2014|12:08 am]
beyond control
You can't just be in love and selfish while the world burns.

Maybe you can. I don't know.

I think the death drive is a smart and clever and parasitic.

If you can be in love and connected to the world, wow, what a thing. 
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How to survive extreme love emotions [Jul. 24th, 2014|09:48 am]
beyond control
Be honest with the world
Do this with words and images
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(no subject) [Jun. 4th, 2014|03:40 pm]
beyond control
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(no subject) [Mar. 5th, 2014|10:42 pm]
beyond control
Paralysis comes. I think it can be a cured by a loving, trusting, sexual and romantic relationship. Paralysis is loneliness and I rail against people that say loneliness is inevitable. 
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(no subject) [Dec. 27th, 2013|12:06 pm]
beyond control
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(no subject) [Dec. 11th, 2013|09:36 pm]
beyond control
Tonight is the the night, muthafuckaz. I'm stripping my hair dye out and transforming my room and finishing watching Fill the Void and making a list of stuff to do for work. And maybe I'll need some supportive attention but maybe I won't.

The answer is always to grow so much and so fast that the person that got hurt is left behind.
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Freedom in context [Nov. 25th, 2013|09:10 pm]
beyond control
I want to remember and appreciate that when I tie myself in knots over relationships or technology or whatever that it is a choice to head to that place, not a trauma-induced compulsion.

No one exists in a state of pure freedom 100 percent of the time.

But those of us that worry about things we have chosen to worry about are very lucky.

At some point I will decide what worries I want to colour my life - the trivial or the profound.

And maybe at some point that choice will be taken away from me.
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